Are you Hearing me?

Yesterday our Children's Pastor, Lecia, delivered the message at church. She spoke of "listening, but not really hearing." As I sat with this during open worship, I heard God speaking to me about how this applies to my life and directly about the situation with Jolee at the birthday party the other day. For days I've tried to figure out what was up with Jo Jo, even after she verbalized her "excuses" for crying at the party, I still felt those answers weren't good enough. I expect reasonable, understandable answers from my 5 year old!

Jolee explanation for the b-day melt-down were: that she didn't see a water slide at the party (she had recently attended the birthday party of another 5 year old that HAD a water slide), and that she didn't want to eat the food there since she had just had lunch at home prior to the party. To a 33 year old this seemed about as ridiculous as you can get. No one had promised a water slide -duh, not every party has a water slide! And, just say "no thank you" to food- no one is gonna force you to eat grapes and cheese slices at the party. So, I've sat with my "good grief" feelings for several days.

Then yesterday it hit me; God put the answer clearly in front of me. Jolee is 5; she really hasn't been to a lot of parties...especially parties without mom. She doesn't know party etiquette. Life requires learning. Pretty simple, and although I listened to Jolee tell me her reasons, I failed to really hear what she was saying. "Mom, I was disappointed there was no slide- I'm still little and sometimes my feelings rise all the way to the surface instead of pushing them down like adults do. I didn't want to eat because I was full, but I didn't want to upset the host of the party and not eat like all the other guests. I was worried I wouldn't get cake if I didn't eat-but I felt too shy to explain all this to a mom I barely know."

I believe a major part of the hearing is about obeying. How many times have I heard God speak, but I didn't want to obey because then I'd have to change my behavior? Perhaps God is just offering a suggestion - I tell myself, "Thanks God, I'm listening, I'll work on that later. Right now I feel like doing this instead." Lecia spoke of fasting. This is something I hear God ask me do (from food, from late night TV), and still I disobey. Lecia spoke of uttering the phrase in prayer, "and help me to mean it." That's where I'm at. God help me to mean it. Help me to listen, hear and obey your "suggestions." Help me to accept them as commands. I know in all things you work for the good of those that love you. I do love you Lord. If I'm honest with myself I do HEAR God saying, "I desire you, Michelle, to be healthy and well rested. Take time to rest in ME"