Anticipation
Several thoughts have been rolling around my head lately-and finding a way to neatly organize them the way I do with the children's toys has been difficult. I'm so good at clearing out the clutter, removing toys and games that are rarely used and then finding the right size bin for the new plastic toys of choice, labeling it, and neatly stacking it away. Why can't my brain function this way? Oh yeah, that God thing. I want Him to be in control. I can't see the future. Have I really taken the time to sit still and listen, or am I so busy trying to organize the ideas that I can't even hear the plan?
I really resonated with something our pastor mentioned Sunday. My version of it is: I'm caught in the tention between being excited and anticipating the future and wondering what that could be and being content with all the blessings I have right here right now.
This is where I find myself-wondering am I a mom to two children or to three. Am I supposed to persue the path to adoption-as so many of my friends and those I admire have-or is my path different? Can I help children in another way? What mission my God have for our family? Is what I'm currently doing enough-is it ever really "enough?" What is this restlessness in my heart. What is the Spirit stirring in Alan and me?
I am so eager to see what 2007 will bring. God please remind me over and over again that my place is to listen and to be ready to fall into any bin you choose to drop me.
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Hey Girl
I so feel what you are saying. I know it's tough sometimes, "living in the tension" although that is what it's all about when it comes to our spiritual growth sometimes. Whenever I am feeling this way, I am often reminded by the words of a wise teacher to "hold it with an open hand". And so my friend...my advice would be the same.
Remember that we are called to be responders as God is the initiator.
I love ya sister.
Peace and blessings,
S.
So True
Thank you dear friend for helping me loosen the grip :) I love you and you are one of my wisest teachers.
Blessings and Peace to you
Michelle
It's good to hear you
It's good to hear you processing. It's affirming and encouraging to hear other people struggle with unknowns and "should we's." Sometimes people don't share until after they've heard an answer. It's good to share in the tension time.
By the way, since you commented on Switchfoot, they have a lot of songs with the theme of longing for more in the good sense. If I were to recommend a good first purchase to you it would be The Beautiful Letdown. That's been their biggest seller to date and everyone I've talked to likes it. Also, you can always google the lyrics for any of the videos you watched. I always have to know all the lyrics. Andy on the other hand provides me with an endless stream of entertainment by singing the totally wrong lyrics to most songs.
"Oh Lord my God, aren't I an awesome wonder?
Consider all the universe dismayed."
Just one example. :-)
Marta
LOL
I laughed out loud when I read that about Andy and the lyrics-first of all because I don't picture him as the sing-with-the-song-out-loud-kinda guy and second, because he is so intelligent that you'd think he'd figure out what he was saying doesn't make any sense! Anyway, it was precious and gave me a glipse into the Andy I don't know yet.
Thanks for affirming my processing time. It is good I guess to not just sit around like a lump being so content you don't even care or wonder about God's plan. I'm trying to put a positive spin on my busy brain :)