50 Million

Fifty million is the number I heard today on a video from Bethany Adoption. Fifty million children worldwide who live as orphans, waiting for parents to love them, take them home and make them a part of a family.

Last night I was moved by the pictures a friend took of his trip to China to bring home a 16 month old little girl. I realized that until these children receive a mommy and daddy-they don't really even get a chance to "live" or to belong. God, how we ALL desire to be known and to belong.

As I look back on my childhood and early adulthood I am struck by the fact that I have wimpered and wallowed in self-pity wondering where I "fit in." Here I am a child of an intact family-something of a rarity these days, well fed and clothed, sheltered and wanted by my two loving parents. And yet I can remember feeling left-out, undesirable, and lost. It's strange how when we have so much, our mind-and Satan can lead us into such a negative place. We trap ourselves in a selfish world because we don't really have any "needs." We have the luxury of playing mind games with ourselves, spending time in "deep thought" and "introspection."

I have decided that it's not healthy to stay trapped in your own head. I truly believe God asks us to be focused on others. I'm not saying it's ok to live in denial or tune out your own issues. Of course God wants us to be healthy and whole human beings. But staying locked in your own problems, your own perceived weaknesses, faults, and shortcomings is just...stupid.

I don't know what I'm going to do about 50 Million. But it bothers me, it gnaws at me, it tugs at my heart. And I find myself trapped again in my mind-thinking about those who truly don't belong to anyone.