funny

I have to say, I'm doing really well on my Fasting from Comfort.  I've been running EVERY morning, not a drop of coffee or alcoholic beverage has touched my lips.  And until last night at 7:11pm, when I without even thinking popped a strawberry into my mouth as we were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, not a nibblet of food has passed these lips after the clock strikes seven.

But here's where it gets bad.  Tonight we were invited over to a High School Graduation party for a young man that I used to be a nanny for (I started watching him when he was only 18 months old).  The BBQ started at 6:30pm, and I knew that there was a good chance that food wouldn't be served until after my "pumpkin time."  So I snagged a half a tuna sandwich as we got in the car. I didn't want to s  t  a  r  v  e.  We arrived, and as I suspected, dinner wasn't yet being served.  

Later when they announced "we could eat" I had a choice to make-survive on the tuna smackeral I scarfed down an hour earlier or delight in a BBQ cheeseburger, grapes, and Jello salad.  I choose the latter- I thought God was feeling pretty understanding. I've been sooooo good.  It's just one dinner.  I won't have cake, I'm not imbibing in the Mike's Hard Lemonade.  Just one hot off the grill cheeseburger.

My first bite-bam, I splatter a huge dollop of ketchup and mustard onto my favorite capris.  I think I must have caught the wrong "vibe" from God.   

I'm not exactly sure where my brain was this morning. While Don Staples was giving us some reminders, I was consciously going through the congregation and telling myself people's names, just to see if I remembered. Then, everyone is standing and greeting and hubbub was louder and longer than normal. You see, we had a mission from Don to find people we didn't know and introduce ourselves. In the midst of this, I was also thinking about Mother's Day and to whom I could wish a Happy One to.

That's when Kevin Brooks stopped by the sound booth and greeted Michelle and me. And then those words just flew out of my mouth before I could stop them, "Happy Mother's Day, Kevin!"

Somethings you just can't take back. They're already out there.

Yeah, yeah, so I got roped into this, too. I still think Michelle picked the wrong guy to elf her. Well, at least we only picked on the dog and didn't seriously harm our children's psyche for a little fun... (Who can name the band who had the album by the same title as this blog entry?)

EDIT: After having this up for a couple days inline with our webpage, I am now tired of it starting each time the page loads. Now there's a linky to click instead.

See what happens when Michelle told me to go Elf Myself. How rude.

Yesterday as I was taking Lauren (my friend's daughter) to dance, we saw a group of highschool/college age girls running down the street. Lauren asked, "Why are they all running together?" I explained that this was probably a cross country running team from the high school or George Fox. I can't judge age anymore since I'm waaay older than these girls. Lauren went on to ask what cross country was and I found myself describing my good ole' high school days of being on the cross country team: How much work it is, how tiring it is and also how much fun it was to gather with a group of friends each day and run around town. How you run a long race, but at the end it is such a since of accomplishment, and you stay in really good shape.

I was reminded by the Spirit, that once again I too could lace up my running shoes and take off on the open road and find myself feeling healthy and in shape if only I wouldn't be so lazy. So I tried it-this morning I "went running."

Since I don't have running buddies to keep me energized, I needed some music. I couldn't figure out how to work the iPod-so I had to call Alan to help me "reboot it" to get it going. I tied the house key to my shoelace and set out. But the iPod earbuds don't stay in my ears. So I spent the first 10 minutes running, stopping, reinserting, reinserting, running, jogging, reinserting, holding in, reinserting. Okay-so THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK. I finally figured out how to max out the volume on the iPod, tied the earbuds around my neck (looking cool!) and continued on my lumbering way. I wasn't feeling this sense of freedom, this sense of accomplishment and health...just pain. And a lot of heavy breathing. My run turned into a jog/walk/jog again. I pushed myself to run "to the next stop sign." I said to myself things like, "you can do it you're only afraid of the pain." I answered myself with a resounding, "you know it sister!" I eventually made my way back home. This time I had to call Alan to ask how to turn the iPod off. (it goes off by itself-apparently the iPod can determine on it's own when you aren't listening to it anymore.) I untangled the earbuds from my neck. Day 1 of the new running plan...done. Don't hold your breath for Day 2.

Dren tagged both Michelle and me the other day, and this is my meme.

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/stories about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Like my beloved, I will break the rules, too. They're made to be broken. Don't tell my kids, that, though. Their rules are made to be followed. :)

1. Food Rules:
   
   1. If it's not chocolate, it's not dessert
   2. There is no fruit or nuts in dessert or breakfast. You can have fruit for dessert or breakfast, but not in it.
2. Chocolate syrup rocks, especially on ice cream (doesn't have to be vanilla; on chocolate chip fudge brownie, it's still good). But, if there's no ice cream, I'll just up-end the Hershey bottle and take a big swig. On a couple occasions, I've even poured a small glass and sat down on the couch with a magazine and sipped.
3. I have a secret, relatively unknown obsession in my life: I like computers. *gasp* I know... I do. But really doing anything on them from browsing, email, photo album updates, patches, web page coding, video editing, copying movies and TV shows from my DVR to the computer over FireWire to save to DVD for later viewing, listening to music either on the computer or the SqueezeBox at the downstairs stereo, Skype-ing with my parents and brother, re-arranging my wireless access points (yes, that's plural), checking on the backup server and tweaking the settings, and I'm sure a host of other things which consume way too much of my time.
4. My eyes, or maybe my entire head, seem to be at a slight slant which makes wearing a hat without looking like a total dork nearly impossible. Hats just look off-kilter on my head, like it's crooked when really it's just me. If I make it look straight, then it's way down closer to one ear than the other. I blame my parents, of course.
5. I can be the most patient person when working with most people on trouble with their computers, or problems they have making it do relatively simple things. But I can't handle it when Michelle asks the same questions or has similar troubles. Partly, this is because she brings up the same issue multiple times, and I get frustrated that the answer hasn't been retained. But, I think the real problem is that I can't seem to grasp that someone I saw, liked, dated, love, married and have children with someone who is not as technically gifted as me. But with all that, doesn't technical aptitude naturally transfer, too?
6. The mail annoys me. I don't like it. I don't like the bills, statements, notices, receipts, warranty information, appointment reminders and newsletters. But I do like UPS and Fedex. They always bring new fun things to plug in to the computer... See #3.
7. I could play volleyball all day. We used to play every day at work on a sand court. I even used to play in a league once upon a time. But you better know the rules. And unless you've got a play worked out, use your three hits. Dig, set, strike. And don't just stand there, go up for the block!
8. For all of the tens of thousands of lines of code I'm responsible for at work on our web pages, I've never used Dreamweaver, FrontPage, Visual Studio or any other of those nasty, garbage-ridden pieces of software that claim to be good for creating web pages. Oh, no, no, no. It's old-school for me. I've never used anything other than Notepad for all HTML, ASP/VB, and PHP I've ever written. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you can relax and just it go... I'll insert a different #8 below so you don't feel short changed.
9. I'm a serious back-seat driver. I can't help but constantly give suggestions, complain about speed, direction, driving in the left lane when not passing (it's against the law, don't you know), being courteous to others, and on and on. It's why Michelle will rarely want to drive with me in the car.

(Optional) 8. (Newly re-worded for sensitve audiences.) I don't have any hang-ups about sheets or blankets or sleepwear. I'd probably sleep au naturel if there wasn't the possibility of middle-of-the-night visits by my children.

And the tagging shall continue: Bethany, Walt, Denise, Cherice, Matt, Amalija, Andy

I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.

1. Each player starts with eight random facts/stories about themselves.

2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.

3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Random Facts about me:

1. I am highly suggestible. As in, Dren wrote a blog about this stuff and now all I can think of to share about me is how I can/cannot relate to what she said. Since it's really her "fault" I'll just share 7 things that come to mind after reading her blog.

2. I love socks and shoes. Or socks and slippers. Currently I'm sitting here barefoot and my feet are FREEZING. My circulation is poor and I really do not like feet. They are bony and ugly and utilitarian. However, I do love my feet being rubbed-just don't ask me to return the favor. If you happen to think it's funny to tickle my feet- I will turn into a wild animal and you will be kicked. I have no control over this.

3. Don't buy a car you've never test driven. We have a "new" VW bug-and even though it's cute on the outside-we really don't like the car at all. It's one redeeming feature is heated seats, aka bun warmers.

4. I do iron clothes. I detest ironing...except for the fact it gives me a good excuse to watch several hours of HGTV about once/twice per month.

5. I have my ears double pierced. My mother considers this "swiss cheese." She really should watch Miami Ink more.

6. The fact that Dren is only scared of one episode of Mr. Rodgers is amazing. Just the thought of Lady Elaine sends chills down my spine.

7. I am a picky eater. But I would like to think of myself as a "recovering picky eater." Just the other day I tried jam on a scone. It was actually good. I'm bummed I've missed out on this condiment for 34 years.

8. My family of origin taught me the fine art of the "Screaming Contest." This was something that I passed down to my husband and children. It can only be done in a moving vehicle...and not when people who are prone to migraines are locked in a car with us on I-5. Sorry Amalija.

I'd love to hear from (I'm breaking the rules by only tagging 3 people. Such a rebel.):

Stacy
Sherry
Kathy W.

I found this commentary amusing:

I got this via email and tidied it up a bit. It's a tad silly.

The Lord is my programmer, I shall not crash. He installed his software on the hard disk of my heart. All of his commands are user friendly. His directory guides me to the right choices for his name's sake. Even though I scroll through the problems of life, I will fear no bugs, for he is my back-up. His password protects me. He prepares a menu before me in the presence of hackers. His help is only a mouse-click away. Surely fast response time and error-free operation will follow me all the days of my life, and my file will be merged with his and saved forever. AMEN.

The latest issue of TidBITS included the following YouTube video which I found myself giggling at in the office. Of course, I had to send it around to the IT staff.

I guess even the simplest interface may not be as simple as we think.

(Edit: YouTube removed the video. Changed to a MySpace link.)